God on Skid Row

Sometimes we hear from God in the least expected places. This Sunday I felt God's encouragement and love through two men on Skid Row. But then again, considering God's identification with the poor, Skid Row probably shouldn't be one of the "least expected places" to hear from God...

First was Frank, a regular at our outreach. After we chatted for a bit, he asked me what I do outside of volunteering at Skid Row on Sundays and I explained my graduate program in history. I'm seeing that I've been thinking/speaking pretty negatively about my experience at UCLA, although it actually hasn't been that bad. I guess I feel like I need to justify why I'm spending five years back in school, why I'm becoming increasingly elite (as if being an upper middle class, college-educated white woman isn't enough!), and probably more to the point, why I'm not doing more directly to help/advocate for/bring justice to people like Frank on Skid Row. This paired with the fears I've had in class - feelings of inadequacy, that I shouldn't be in grad school - make me speak about grad school with a sense of hesitation. Frank noticed this and basically told me, gently, to stop complaining and take advantage of this opportunity given to me - and stop worrying about what my profs and other students think of me. He said, "Don't doubt yourself! You can't let anyone tell you that you're not somebody." This is where God has me for now - I need to own it! Preach it Frank.

As we were putting away the tables and passing out the last of the food I started talking for a little bit with another regular, Chris. I have no clue how we got onto this topic, but he started telling me how beautiful I was (side note: I didn't feel like it was in a creepy or inappropriate way - there aren't very many young, fresh-faced women on Skid Row so its not unusual for us ladies to get this reaction.) He said "Caroline, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are a beautiful creation of God." I changed the subject and asked to hear more about his week - but his words stuck with me for some reason. Later as I was reflecting on my time at Skid Row, I felt like God was telling me "Caroline, that is how I see you." But not because of my physical appearance or my personality, but I am beautiful simply because I am his daughter. Sitting in this notion, that his love transcends and surpasses any affirmation or appreciation I could ever receive from any human, has been amazing. I pray that you (whoever is reading this) also feel that deep love and understand how "fearfully and wonderfully" you have been crafted. At church this Sunday we read these words from 1 John "How great is the love the Father has lavished on is, that we should be called his sons and daughters! And that is what we are!"