Life without Facebook

So this past Sunday I decided I needed to do something about my unhealthy relationship with facebook. That's right. I'll admit it. I'm addicted. Therefore, I have resolved to only check my account on a weekly basis until Easter (I got a little head start on Lent.)

My break from facebook has given me time to reflect - well, "forced me to reflect" may be more honest. When I can't distract myself by checking my friends' statuses, learning how many mutual friends I have with a classmate, or investigating the love interest of a confidante - I am left with just myself. Not some imaginary social network I can just tap into when I am alone and too lazy to actually engage with real people. And when I am left alone - without wall posts to answer, friend requests to confirm, events to respond to - I can see more clearly the empty places in my life. I can see that I'm probably more lonely than I thought.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not a hermit here at UCLA. I have been blessed by close friends who know me well and love me regardless; likewise I am often meeting new and interesting people on this big university campus; I even find myself striking up random conversations in coffee shops, the library, the grocery store. So it's not necessarily that I have a shortage of human beings in my life.

I guess it's a different kind of lonely. A different kind of longing. I desire deeper intimacy and communion with people. I long for the challenge, the support, the constancy of sharing life with others on a day-to-day basis. I am eager for the companionship and partnership that comes when we commit our lives to the same goal. I want more.

My mom thinks I'm "ready for a life partner."

Who knows? Well, God does I guess. So that helps. G.K. Chesterton said that following Jesus is like being homesick at home. We are ever-yearning for something greater, something deeper, something more intimate. Will I experience only a taste of that in this life?

The funny thing is this all came about because I'm no longer on facebook. And by funny I mean embarrassing. Who knew that a “social networking site” could have such power over me? That's really pretty silly.